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Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Damaged

I've been thinking a lot about dating recently.

Actually, I think a lot about dating most of the time.

I've had a question on my mind for some time now.

In fact, it seems to come up again and again...and again.

How much rejection can a person take before it damages them?

When I say "damage" I don't mean the occasional sadness that goes away in time, or the kind of hurt that subsides when you have a positive experience. I mean real, permanant, damage. I'm talking about losing little pieces of yourself bit by bit.

Whenever someone turns you down, you try not to, but you always think of reasons why they might have rejected you. After a while, all you see is a person who deserves to be rejected.

After so long, you start to anticipate the rejection, so even when someone accepts a date invite, you are constantly expecting to get that awkward look or feeling that tells you there won't be another.

All of this is a very destructive cycle, and I don't know what to do about it. All I know is that I feel damaged.