Thursday, April 26, 2012

In The Black!

Check this out!

Today I PAID OFF my LAST student LOAN!

Hooray for being debt free!

No student loans, no car payment, no credit card balance...

Now it's time to save like crazy!

I might not have much in my accounts at the moment, but at least my balance is no longer in the red. :)

Scratch this item off my "to do" list!

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Waiting in the Weeds

Today was really rough.
I finally got home around 10pm.
I managed to get my keys out of my pocket and walk up to the house.
I made it most of the way, and then I just stopped.
I put my bag down on the ground, and then collapsed on the bottom step.
I just couldn't bring myself to go inside.
Those last stairs were too much.
I had to sit.
I sat there for quite a while. Thinking.
The words to this song were on my mind.

Eagles - Waiting in the Weeds (Long Road Out of...

I hope I don't have more days like today.
Things need to change.
I need to rearrange some priorities.
Maybe do some things for myself.

I'm grateful for the friend who called me this afternoon, just to say "hi", and see how I was doing.
It was very much needed.
Thanks for thinking of me.

Yup...This is Pretty Much How It is.

So I came across this picture/meme thingy today on good ol' FB.

I'll be honest, I don't really know what a "meme" is, but people have been throwing that word around a lot lately, so I figured I would too. this picture/meme kind of caught me off guard:

I've been through this recently, and I think I agree with the stages it depicts.

In fact, I'm currently on that sad "months later" stage.

It isn't fun.

Everything has been more difficult lately.


What's even less fun though, is the knowledge of what her third stage is.

I hope that one doesn't turn out to be true in this case.  I don't think it is yet. Fingers crossed. *

I think the dang meme ends a few stages too early! What happens after the "months later" stage?

I'm not really very good at this sort of thing. Does anyone know what I should expect in the coming months?

I don't mean to be sad or depressing. I just found this picture to be interesting and eye opening.

I have to admit that I have deliberately avoided posting anything deeply personal for quite some time.  I've been going through a lot of complicated personal things, and I didn't feel particularly comfortable blasting all that out onto the internet. I still don't. This is just a little peek for those who care.

If you take the time to read my blog, I'm assuming that you are interested in knowing me better, and actually care about me to some degree. I thank you for reading, and I thank you for caring.

Also...this song.  Pretty much sums it all up. At least for the present.

*(Apparently I need to clarify my interpretation of that third picture. To me it shows a woman who is happy to be rid of her ex. Happy to forget all about him and move on without ever looking back.  When I think of my own situation, I hope that we can both look back in kindness and be happy remembering our shared memories. I hope that nobody would ever be glad to simply be rid of me. I'm a really nice guy, I promise! Of course I want us both to be happy! I want us to be friends, and to be glad that we had the privilege of being so close for so long. I don't want any bad feelings on either side.  If the woman in the third picture is simply meant to convey happiness following the initial heartache, then that is wonderful. Happiness is wonderful. If, on the other hand, she is meant to convey the total and complete expulsion of any feelings she once had, completely forgetting the guy and moving on, I disagree with that. I think we should hold on to the good memories, stay as close as is appropriate, and be kind, civil, and happy for one another when we each eventually find happiness. If I could replace that picture with any other picture, I would put in its place the image of Tom and Summer sitting on a park bench with Summer's hand on Tom's.  This scene takes place at the end of 500 Days of Summer, my favorite relationship movie. It depicts forgiveness, mutual healing, respect, and happiness for one another. Actually, perhaps THAT is the final image I feel the "meme" is missing! The ideal fourth stage.)

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Today's Observations

Over the weekend, I moved to a different house. This house is currently without Internet. So this is my first post written exclusively on my phone.

Today as I was leaving work, I had a strange thought/realization.
I was walking down the hall and wondered if I should use the restroom before going out to my car. (I chose not to.)
I realized that I couldn't remember going to the bathroom at all while I had been at work!
I remember needing to go in the morning, but I never did, and the feeling went away.
I remember washing my hands after lunch, but nothing more than that.
Had I really gone nine hours without a bathroom break?
I couldn't remember not not going, so I must not have gone.
I guess this means I'm not drinking enough water. I intend to remedy this problem tomorrow.

Also, tonight I realized that I am becoming less and less cool.
I was never very cool to begin with, so I can't really afford to lose whatever cool points I have managed to amass.
I wasn't very pleased with any of my wardrobe options today. I felt like a bum.
I think I need someone to help me spruce up my look.
Anyone want to go shopping?

Finally, I realized that I missed out on a lot of fun in high school.

That is all.