Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Top Ten: Joe Versus the Volcano Quotes

Recently I had the chance to rewatch one of my favorite classic Tom Hanks films, Joe Versus the Volcano.  If you haven't seen it, you need to, it's pretty funny.  It features Tom Hanks as a hypochondriac who is told he has six months to live and is hired to jump into a volcano.  One of my favorite things about Joe Versus the Volcano is that Meg Ryan plays three different characters, each one radically different from the others.
Besides the humorous plot, and excellent characters, the film boasts some pretty witty dialog.  Some of the funniest scenes are when Joe and Marshall, the limo driver, are discussing clothes, and also when Joe goes to buy luggage from a very passionate luggage salesman.  It's a great film!  I only wish that the last part with the Waponi Chief were a bit longer.  That guy is hilarious!
Anyway, I had forgotten how quotable a film it is, so here are my ten favorite quotes:

Angelica: I am completely untrustworthy... I'm a flibbertigibbet.

Joe Banks: I have less than six months to live. The Waponis believe they need a human sacrifice or their island is going to sink into the ocean. They have this mineral your father wants so he hired me to leap into their volcano.
Patricia: What?!
Joe Banks: You're not going to make me say that again, are you? 

Luggage Salesman: Have you thought much about luggage, Mr. Banks?
Joe Banks: No.
Luggage Salesman: It's the central preoccupation of my life.

Marshall: What kinda clothes do you got now?
Joe Banks: Well, I got the kinda clothes I'm wearing.
Marshall: So you got no clothes.

Dr. Ellison: And what did you do in the fire department?
Joe Banks: Well... I put out fires.

Patricia: You're afraid of the commitment? You're gonna have to love and honor me for about 30 seconds.

Luggage Salesman: This is our premier steamer trunk, it's all handmade, only the finest materials. It's even watertight, tight as a drum. If I had the need, and the wherewithal, Mr. Banks, this would be my trunk of choice.
Joe Banks: I'll take four of them.
Luggage Salesman: May you live to be a thousand years old, sir.

Joe Banks: What's that? A teddy bear?
Waponi Chief: It's my soul.
Joe Banks: Oh, I hope you don't lose it.
Waponi Chief: Me too.

Joe Banks: So I'm not sick? Except for this terminal disease?

Patricia: You mean you were diagnosed with something called a brain cloud and didn't ask for a second opinion?

Runner Up Quotes

Angelica: I have no response to that.

Joe Banks: And then I'll be staying on a tiny island and I don't know if I'll be living in a hut, or what.
Luggage Salesman: Very exciting... as a luggage problem!

- Joe Banks: I tell you one thing, though. Wherever we go, whatever we do, we're gonna take this luggage with us!

1 comment:

Robin said...

Ha ha! I love them!
But you left out some of my favorite Angelica lines:

Joe: I've never been to LA.
Angelica: You're kidding me! Whaddaya think?
Joe: It's nice.
Angelica: This is a great town. It STINKS, but it's a great town.

Angelica: What? They do look like little monsters, don't they. But they're GOOD little monsters.

And her poem, of course..."Would you like to hear it again?"

Waturi: I know he can get the job, but can he DO the job? I am not arguing this with you!

Hah, there are so many others I'm thinking of right now :) I'm tired.