Thursday, April 1, 2010

Things That Must Go! (Part 2)

I really liked my last "Things That Must Go" post, so I thought I would do another one. Here it is:

1. Energy Drinks

I see people all the time who down these things like soda. Do they have any idea what is in them, and how bad they are for you? I guarantee that in a few years we will start seeing some major health repercussions from the sudden popularity of these strange brews.
(Oh, and for all you LDS people out there, I'm convinced that these things violate the Word of Wisdom, but that is only my personal opinion.)

p.s. This is my favorite parody EVER!!
p.p.s. If you liked that, then don't forget about Part 2!

2. Dogs in the Beds of Pickup Trucks

Personally, I think that cops should pull these people over and charge them with animal cruelty. Sure, it may look like the dog is having a great time, but just think what would happen if the driver had to pull a single emergency maneuver. Just one abrupt stop, or one sudden swerve, or one unexpected bump, or even accident. The dog could easily be thrown from the truck, and I doubt it would survive. I've even seen these people driving down the freeway! It just makes me sick.

3. The "Torture Porn" Film Genre

This genre has really only been created within the last six years. The term refers to the ultra-violent, gore-fest films such as Saw, Hostel, The Hills Have Eyes, Wolf Creek, Chaos, and other modern horror movies that glorify sadistic torture. I'm all for horror movies, but I think these go way too far. I don't see any redeeming value in these films at all, and I feel that through their depictions of pure evil, the films have become evil by nature. I refuse to see anything of the sort, but I know that films only get made if they, in turn, make money. I think the rise in popularity of these films says a lot about the degrading morals of society.
Time magazine did a very good article on the rise of these films and the effect that they have on the people who enjoy them. Basically they create an addictive titillating effect similar to pornography. This is dangerously gross stuff.

4. Ice Queens

These are the unapproachable girls that are impossible to talk to. As you approach one of them with a smile, they walk right past you without even making eye contact. It is as if you didn't even exist. If you do manage to approach one of these girls, they look at you with a disgusted expression that seems to say "who are you and how dare you speak to me?" These girls are somehow able to always look down at you, even if you are physically taller than they are. These are the girls who are only kind to those they deem worthy of their attention, and are accustomed to getting what they want because of their looks. Their appeal is merely superficial, and they seem to lack any real substance. I think they need to go away.

5. Flaky Girls

Sure, they may seem interested when you talk to them, but then they are impossible to make plans with, and have trouble doing simple things like returning phone calls. Flakes are consistently inconsistent, and beyond confusing. I've given up on ever figuring these girls out, and when someone begins to show signs of flakiness, my interest drops off rapidly. I've been stood up, and led on, by enough of these girls to know that it isn't worth the hassle. How hard is it to make a date and then keep it? If you aren't interested, just say so in the first place. Oh, and while you are at it, do me a favor and go away!


Nikki said...

I'll go away.

Robby Spratt said...

Ha! I'm curious which "must go" criteria you feel you qualify for. Believe me, if I thought you fit into any of them, we probably wouldn't be friends. ;)

Levi Dean said...

I enjoyed this post but on a side note.

I installed a TinEye Firefox plugin, recently. For kicks I did a search on you ice queen picture. Here are the results.
I was a little surprised. It seem that we tent to believe what we see with our eye too much.