Friday, April 10, 2009

Speed-Dial #2

I have a lot of little quirks and strange habits that to me are perfectly justified, but might not make much sense to outside observers. I hope that most of my oddities aren't annoying or obnoxious, but if they are, I apologize; and I promise I will try and work on them.
Lately I've been giving particular thought to one little quirk: I am rather rigid regarding the speed-dial assignments on my phone...
I only use speed-dial for the numbers I dial frequently (duh), or for extra super special people. If a person (other than my immediate family) were to make it onto one of my eight speed-dial options, it would be considered a high honor.
I always make assignments in order of importance. Currently numbers 3 through 7 are assigned to family members. Slot #1 is my voice-mail, and #0 is something funky that I never use. I'm not sure what to do with numbers 8 and 9 yet, but perhaps one day two lucky people will be fortunate enough to obtain one of these much coveted slots.
If you were able to make sense of that jumbled up explanation you may be saying to yourself, "What about #2? He didn't say anything about #2 yet! Who gets assignment #2?"
Well I'm glad you asked. After all, the identity of my #2 is pretty much the entire point of this post.
For me, button number two is the most central, most comfortable, and easiest to press of all the buttons on the phone. This is significant. It is for these reasons that the assignment of speed dial #2 is reserved specifically for the most special person in my life.
Unfortunately, this number is currently unassigned. While it has occasionally been the happy residing place of some pretty special phone numbers, for the last year and a half it has been vacant, lonely, and unused. I suppose what this post really boils down to is the confession that, like many others, I am involuntarily single.
I am not desperate or depressed; I am simply looking forward to the day when I have found that certain special woman to fill the vacancy of my #2 speed-dial slot. To me, #2 is actually #1.


Squall said...

My mom is #2.

Robby Spratt said...

You're a better man than Mom is #5.