Thursday, April 9, 2009

Eating Out of the Trash?

Yesterday I was presented with an unusual moral dilemma that I feel is blog worthy.
I started out the day running late for work (as usual) and neglected to pack myself a lunch. I also happen to be low on cash at the moment so I already knew I would not be going out for lunch.
I get to work late (as usual) and I am already hungry. I usually begin my work day by wandering around the shop looking for things that need to be straightened, or put away. While I am wandering around I see a pizza box on one of our counters left over from the day before.
"Hmmm...," I say to myself. "I wonder if there is any pizza left in that box..."
I pick up the box and give it a little shake. Indeed there was! I open up the box and inspect the contents. The day old pizza looks a little cold, and a little stale, but otherwise edible.
I was just about to help myself to a slice when my conscience kicked in. I didn't want the owner of the pizza to come to work and find their carefully preserved leftovers inexplicably missing.
I found out from another coworker who the pizzas rightful owner was; unfortunately this person would not be in for several more hours. I walked past the pizza several times over the next few hours, each time deliberating on whether or not I should sneak a piece.
As the time for the pizza-owners arrival drew near, work became busy. It continued to be busy even after his arrival. When I finally had the chance to inquire about the imminent destiny of the pizza, I discovered that the box was gone! I looked around the shop and it was nowhere to be seen. I began to fear that the much coveted pizza had been thrown out. As inconspicuously as possible, I slipped outside and opened the trash can. There it was! Sitting neatly upon a pile of cardboard and bubble wrap, with the box still perfectly closed, the pizza beckoned to me. I opened the pizza box once again and inspected the slightly stale slices. As before, they looked reasonably edible. "No," I said to myself as I closed the pizza box and carefully placed it back in the trash can. "I can't eat out of the trash." At this point you may imagine a tiny angel appearing over one shoulder, and a tiny devil over the other.
Tiny Devil: "Go ahead, no one will see you take one little slice."
Tiny Angel: "What about your dignity? Are you the sort of person who eats out of the trash?"
TD: "All you have to do is take a quick look around and make sure no one is watching."
TA: "But if you walk back inside munching on a piece of pizza your coworkers might question its origins..."
TD: "Just stay outside to eat it."
TA: "Someone might come looking for you and wonder what you are doing outside on a cold day eating a mysterious piece of pizza."
TD: "Just eat it really fast."
TA: "Think of how much can happen in the time it takes to eat a piece of pizza! Someone will catch you."
TD: "Just tell them you had it stashed in your car. Listen to your stomach growl, you know you want it."
TA: "What would your Mother think?"
TD: "Mommy's not here, Eat it!"
TA: "If you eat out of the trash no girl will ever want to kiss you ever again..."
TD: "Uhhhh... that's a good point."

After carefully considering Tiny Angel's argument, I decided to just leave the pizza in the trash and go hungry. Most of me wishes I had just eaten the dang pizza but I think I made the right decision. I just hope an attractive girl will come along and remove all doubt (wink wink.)

1 comment:

Squall said...

I love it Robby. Definitely direct people here! PS I took that picture!!!!